How many Justin Biebers could you take in a fight?

If you like I live in a country with with millions of prepy little girls, you surely have heard of The Phenom called Justin Beiber and how annoying his screaming minions can get caused by the Garmlich Effect(Definition below). I don't hate him(his Canadian after all, Yay Canada!) , but i might go bonkers if i hear another hum of "baby baby" in that angelic girly voice.

Now our friends at theoatmeal.com had foreseen this and created survey to estimate how Justin Beiber you could take on in 12 questions , if your bored check it out (of course your bored your on my blog after all lol) and post me your score for Beiber braging rights xD.

Not to brag but ahem ahem :

What is the Garmlich Effect ? I'll let Chef Explain it to you...

and always your welcome for time well wasted (i hope)..... Viva la résistance!

Sex? Flowchart? Huh? You know want too... go ahead click me... i won't tell...

Ever wonder about the things she(or he for all you female readers) said/says during more intimate moments(Yes I'm talking about HORIZONTAL Cha Cha) were fictitious or impulsive. Well you're in luck! This flowchart shows you what to say during private time with your special friend. Say goodbye to confusion and hello to deep conversations.

[Click on the Image to Get a Better Look it's Pretty Comprehensive]

Start from the middle of the chart and work your way out. Never again will you be at a loss for words.

Your Welcome :D

Courtesy of : Loveinsanity.com

Kitten Mittens

.fueled by my hatred towards felines.

Freak out the Cashier when buying Condoms

Okay I had to much fun with this drinking game , i had to share xD and since i haven't added a joke on to the blog in agesssss here goes :D

Imagine you are in a shop, you have to buy a pack of condoms, and any item(s) of your choice, not too many though :P

The idea is to think of items that will make the (imaginary) cashier think WTF.

Here goes xD

Condoms, a can of whipped cream, and a chainsaw

Condoms, a leather belt, a mouse trap, a cucumber

Condoms, a pound of ground beef, and Saran wrap

Condoms, toilet paper tube, gerbil, and lighter

condoms, bananas, gay magazine, and a box of tampons

condoms, sleeping pills, toycars and candy

condoms and super-glue

condoms, froot loops, Miranda Kerr postter and a pillow

condoms, a lace thong, chloroform, and a George Bush mask

condoms, Diapers, a tricycle, wooden paddle, 2 jars of baby food, hot sauce, and a screwdriver

condoms, a Baseball Bat and a Disposable Camera

Lol i can't remember anymore but the drunker you are the weirder it gets LMAO xD believe me

Quote.....Unquote (2)

A: gosh
A: i feel like a monster
A: sometimes
L: haha
A: that is
L: we all are
L: monsters
L: in denial

L: at-least we know

Rock, Paper, Scissors Dilemma

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat scissors, but there's no fucking way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock leave it immobile? Why the hell can’t paper do that t scissor? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why, because paper can’t beat anybody. A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock paper scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit I’m sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole.

~ by HAS 2006 Dec 8, 2004 (Anonymous (L))

F*ck Ashton Kutcher (Def Poetry Jam)

I want to entertain people with your fear, ya punk bitch! Haha he kills me!

The Duck

I heard a sound
Coming from the trees
And i didnt quite understand
What all the commotion was all about
Why people were running so fast across the land
I realized soon
And i understood why
Shocked i was
Couldn't believe my eyes
It was a duck
A small yellow duck
With eyes the size of a pea
I couldn't understand why people were running
until it blew fire at me.

NO FUEL!

Yes we are screwed!
My money is on this for ending the world someday

ONE AWESOME DUDE!!!

Lmao... yea u heard him ONE AWESOME DUDE!!! ooo yeaa....

Shrek.....??

~Friggin Fairy~

Stephen Lynch - Lullaby

Talk About Committed Advertising

A good lesson to all Advertising Companies lol !

Kapuwa Service

Your very own Kapuwa Service on the Internet find ur very own true love ... if your not sri lankan lol jus ingnore this post :P.

NOTE: It takes a little time to load

Men's Dress Guide

We all know that men are not quite as adept at fashion as women. In fact guys will pretty much wear anything, anytime, with anything. This creates the false impression that guys just "throw" any old thing on. This however is not the case. As this handy little guide points out, getting dressed is a highly complex and organized ritual for men. Take a look for urself.... :P

Success!!!!

lol cracks me up...buts its true

At age 4...success is...not peeing in your pants.

At age 10...success is...making your own meals.

At age 12...success is...having friends.

At age 16...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 20...success is...having sex.

At age 35...success is...having money.

At age 50...success is...having money.

At age 60...success is...having sex.

At age 70...success is...having a drivers license.

At age 75...success is...having friends.

At age 80...success is...making your own meals.

At age 85...success is...not peeing in your pants.

Learn Chinese in 5 Minutes

English: He's cleaning his automobile.
Chinese:Wa Shing Ka

English: This is a tow away zone.
Chinese: No Pah King

English: Is there a fugitive there?
Chinese: Hu Yu Hai DIng?

English: Small horse
Chinese: Tai Ni Po Ni

English: Your price is too high
Chinese: No Bai Nut Ding
English: Did you go to the beach?
Chinese: Wai Yu So Tan?

English: I bumped into a coffee table
Chinese: Ai Bang Mai Ni

English: It's very dark in here
Chinese: Wai So Dim?

English: Has your flight been delayed?
Chinese: Hao Long Wei Ting?

English: I thought you were on a diet
Chinese: Wai Yu Mun Ching?

English: They have arrived
Chinese: Hai Dey Kum

English: Your body odour is offensive
Chinese: Yu Stin Ki Poo

English: You know lyrics to the Macarena
Chinese: Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

English: I got this for free.
Chinese: Ai No Pei

English: Stay out of sight
Chinese: Lei Lo

English: Phew! Does this bathroom stink?
Chinese: Hu Flung Dung.

Cabbie and Nun

A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab, and notices that the very handsome cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.

He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I am afraid that I may offend you."
She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive."

"Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that, number one, you have to be single and number two, you must be Catholic."

The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"

"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley." The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.

"My dear child," said the nun, "why are you crying?"

"Forgive me but I have sinned. I lied and I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish."

The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party."